I obtained my driver’s license in 1963 about the time an unusually catchy song, called “The Rhythm of the Rain” became popular. While the license gave me the freedom to start dating on my terms, I soon learned I had idealistic visions of how these dates should turn out. Maybe idealistic is not the right word. Maybe delusional is better. Most of the ladies I dated did not share the same concept of a “good time.” Within a few months I began to relate to the song and some of its phrases like Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain, telling me what a fool I’ve been and The only girl I care about has gone away, looking for a brand new start, but little does she know that when she left that day, along with her she took my heart. It just wasn’t working. And, honestly, I was not used to failing. I was accustomed to achieving my goals.

Well kids, I wish I could say by the time I was 18 I had the dating thing figured out. You know better, anyway. All I knew was that I did not want my parents to pick someone out for me the way 2/3 of the rest of the world does. After all, I am intelligent and know what I like. Not everyone can meet my standards. Well, it didn’t take long to realize I had to meet their standards too! It took additional time to figure out they looked their best and were on their best behavior during the date. The hardest thing to grasp was that almost everyone has an agenda when they date. They want something! That is why so many dates get “rained out!”

A wise individual will talk about their agenda before dating. Hanging out with the youth group or going to the movies with fellow students is not dating. One of my students, years ago told me that she would not date unless the person she was dating was interested in marrying her. That, folks, seemed very foreign to me — even back then. However, that was her agenda. She didn’t date many guys, but she ended up marrying a wonderful young man and is still happily married with multiple rug rats today. You see, they both understood the agenda and took it to heart. When the agenda was on the table, the likes and dislikes, the opinions, and beliefs as well as the good and the bad became visible. Communication existed and became the foundation of the relationship rather than physical passion. They laid the groundwork for success.

When mom and I dated I can remember conversations going well into the A.M. hours. I was interested in who she was and where she came from. My previous wife had died and I wanted to make sure I wasn’t starting something I could not finish. While young and idealistic, she was interested in what had brought me to my present position in life. Most of all, she considered and discussed a vow she had made with God about marriage. She stood by that vow. Besides knowing that God selected her for me, the one thing that has kept our marriage together for over a quarter century is the vow. We knew divorce was not an option. Prayerfully working through the marriage process was our agenda. You kids know that like any marriage it wasn’t easy. We are two very different people. So, when it pours down rain, we huddle together around our agenda — God’s agenda for us and you. You are the fruit of that agenda.

Love, Dad