Dealing with objective people

Dealing with objective people

As you grew up, you learned that your dad is a most often an objective person. I try to focus on tasks, leave the emotion out of that task, and do not quit until it is completed and crossed off the list. I know at times that has left you feeling a bit cold or like I really didn’t care. The reality is, like many dads, I see the benefit of a completed task as a way to provide for and enhance the lives of everyone in the family. For some reason, I have always related to Ecclesiastes 3:22a. So I saw that there is nothing better for a man than to enjoy his work. You see, I can find joy in providing for you and allowing you to have the things that make your life more enjoyable. That is why getting things done is so important to me. At times, I learned to do things I did not enjoy because in so doing, it produced results that allowed me to give to you and others.

The objective or task oriented mindset makes up approximately 1/3 of the population, so you are going to see it a lot in your life, especially with those you find in management or leadership positions. While having a goal mindset can allow a person to manage processes, complete projects, and provide the ability to achieve goals, it can also have its drawbacks. Sometimes the task takes precedent to the individuals involved. Therefore, some individuals do not listen as well as they should. It also means that the person may not be “in the moment” or completely absorbing what you are saying or the circumstances that surround you. It doesn’t mean they do not care, there just seems to be a sense of urgency or drive to complete the task despite the circumstances and the impact it has on others.

The reality is that it is your responsibility to be able to see through the individual’s biases and behavioral tendencies. In John 21:17b, Jesus says “Feed my sheep.” The Greek word boskō does not mean to give just physical sustenance. It communicates the duty of a Christian is to be someone who “promotes in every way the welfare of others.” In other words, you must understand people and have a clear appreciation for their goal mindset and how it will help you and others reach the long term goal — even though the person may be abrasive. For the other 66% of the population who are relationship oriented, this can be challenging, but not something that cannot be reasoned through.

I ask you to consider something. When you deal with a goal oriented person who can be abrasive, think about why God placed you in that position. Perhaps God has appointed you for such a time as this, to be the intermediary for providing balance and peace during times of stress and where there is a need. Perhaps you can minister in a way no one else can and help the person find peace. After all, there is a special blessing when you play that role, is there not? In Matthew 5:9 does it not say?: Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. Remember that their strong focus was given them by the Lord to create either efficiencies or to ensure things were done according to plans. There must have been a reason God wired them that way — wouldn’t you agree?

Love, Dad

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