Ahhhh, its Valentine’s Day! Even if there were no cards, chocolates, roses, or pictures of cupid hanging around, it’s a special day to think about someone to love. If you are like your old dad, you can close your eyes, look back over the years and see some faces that made your heart beat faster. Oh, how exhilarating is the sensation that special people can evoke.
At 15 years of age I experienced “relationship shock.” Our family had just moved from Alaska and a high school of 200 with a small town mentality, to Florida with a high school of 2700 and a big city mentality. My peers seemed practiced at this game and I felt years behind! What a wakeup call! However, it was still the early 60’s and respect for boundaries was still strong value. I don’t know if things have changed that much from when I was kid to now, but having a relationship was pretty important. People got married a lot younger and most refused to live together before their wedding day.
As an “older” guy, I have to tell you that this day makes me much more reflective than it used to. When I think about love my mind goes in two different directions – first to my lifetime and eternal partner, but then I think about a guy! In 1 Kings 11:1, 3, 2 it says this: “King Solomon loved many foreign women. . . He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray” because he “. . . held fast to them in love.” Of the 169 times love (Qal) is used in the Old Testament (with only a few exceptions according to Strong’s concordance) it meant the human love or appetite for another person. Wow, did he have an appetite! And, obviously, it was an addictive appetite.
However, the New Testament breaks love down into several different words: (1) storgē meaning affection, (2) philía meaning friendship, (3) érōs meaning passionate love, and (4) agápē meaning active, unconditional and self-sacrificing love. I’m glad we have these different explanations for a term that is so loosely used in our society because during our lives we will probably experience all four. However, one concept cannot and should not be used as a substitute for the other. It’s like trying to substitute an orange for an apple when the caramel is melted and ready for dipping. Each one has a place for us as we mature.
Each one of you is old enough to be able to recognize that there is an appropriate time and place for each. My prayer for you is that God will give you the wisdom to discern when to have affection for others, build friendships that last, discover the intimacy that only a marriage commitment provides and that you learn to love others the way The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit love you. You do not have to be old or hyper intelligent – just listen and He will tell you when to act accordingly.
Love Dad