I want to start today by making a slight course correction from the Core Concepts we have discussed since the first of the month. I want to migrate to Relational Concepts that are the outgrowth of understanding core concepts of the God Family. Today I want to just have you grasp the concept of what real friendship is and the necessity of having these types of people in your life – yes, outside of our family. Just remember Ben Franklin’s quote: “Friends should be few and well chosen.”
In our society, the concept of friendship is interpreted loosely. It abounds in our churches where we see people on Sundays, hug them when we greet them and call them brother and sister. Yet, there are missing ingredients that are lost outside of marriage and family because of a lack of desire for transparency and intimacy. True friends are not shallow, but will lovingly and firmly, nudge you back on track when they see you getting off the path like a family member. Consider some common definitions of “friend” available on the internet:
- An acquaintance; someone you know, like, or trust
- A person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile;
- One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement;
- A member of the same nation, party, etc.; and
It is as though a person, any person, who is not adverse to you, but is in some way (however generally) affiliated with you, would meet the above “friend” classification. The “family of God” must be different, NOT like the world.
Historically, the word “friend” has carried a much deeper significance. In ancient times, a “friend” literally meant a “lover” or “one who loves.” The fraternal and intimate implications associated with the word “friend” are clear in both the Latin and Greek languages. In Latin, the noun for “friend” (amīcus) and the verb “to love” (amō) share the same root. Similarly, the Greek noun for “friend” (philos) and verb meaning “to love” (phileō) have the same origin. Yet, this association has been lost in today’s modern English language. We must search back one millennium before finding an English verb relating to the noun, “friend”. At that time, the Old English word for “friend,” frēond, was simply the present participle of the verb frēon, meaning “to love.”
I believe an older version of Webster’s definition, “intimate associate,” captures the essence of what a real friend is all about. An intimate associate is someone who loves you, despite your shortcomings and flaws. It is someone who will go out of his or her way to help or comfort you when you are in need. Friends will sacrifice things they value, such as time and money, to enrich your life. A friend gives you the feeling that he is ready, willing, and able to invest in you with only a moment’s notice. When you are treated in this manner by someone, your natural response is a desire to return the favor—to invest yourself in them. Your motivation is not to repay them for their efforts, but to express your gratitude to them for their care for you and your circumstances.
I have seen each of you gather and shed “friends” over the years. Each experience has had an impact on you. Some of you have struggled with friendship because of bad experiences. You must try again. To have friends, you must become one. If you choose to do so then you must not be afraid to be one in the truest sense of the word.
Love Dad