On August 13, 1929, the middle column of the Florida Times-Union read: “Death Strikes Twice in Few Minutes to Take Aged Pair.” The article goes on to say that “the grim reaper struck twice within a few minutes yesterday to take the lives of Mrs. Julia E. Coker, 64 . . . and that of her husband Hugh Walter Coker, 81 . . . , residents of this city for the past twenty-two years. They have scores of friends throughout this section who will learn with regret of their passing. . . . They were members of Calvary Baptist Church.” As I read that article the first time on microfilm, it was as if I were reading yesterday’s news. Now, as I read the article I feel a great sense of frustration caused by the 70+ year gap. I see the words, but cannot answer the questions the article creates about my great-grandfather.
Over the past decade I have searched census records, military information, property records, and countless documents to discover more about the heritage of the Coker name. Without his parental link I cannot connect him to any of the Coker immigrants from England. I have discovered the names of multiple Coker families who lived within several miles of him, but no record of any, if there were, who might have been related. The funny thing is that I can tell you about his two marriages, the children from those marriages, his two professional occupations, as well as his reputation in the community. Although I never met him, I’ve learned enough about him to feel attached to him. Yet, a gulf of time and space exists and I cannot reach out and touch him. I ache at times as I understand the feeling of resignation David must have felt when he said this in 2 Samuel 12:23b about the loss of his child: I will go to him, but he will not return to me. I want to know more about a man I never met but have grown to love.
Each of you knows me well enough to recognize that leaving a task unfinished is unthinkable. Yet there comes a time when answers are not the end-all. I have told you often as you matured, that the longer you are alive the more you should realize how little you really know. As knowledge begins to accumulate, our natural instinct is to become prideful (1 Corinthians 8:1b). I think that at times not being able to access answers is one of God’s gentle reminders that we should remain humble. You’ve heard Lord Acton’s quote: Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men. Knowledge-based pride can destroy a demeanor of communicating love.
If you are like me there will be many times in your life when you wonder why the heavens are quiet, questions left unanswered, life events unexplainable, or even shrouded in mystery. At times like this you have to let go and come to a place of acceptance. I know, easier said than done. But there will be times when you have gone through the “Ask, Seek, Knock” process (Matthew 7, Luke 11) we’ve discussed and there is still quiet. At this point it is time to accept His decision to leave questions unanswered, end your pursuit of answers, and concede that God is God. Accepting God’s decisions honors Him, illustrates your respect, and acknowledges His sovereignty.
We have one directive in life — to Glorify God (Romans 15:6). Who knows, maybe the reality and answers may be more than you have the capacity to accept.
Love, Dad