I met a gentleman almost two decades ago while serving in a sales position within the medical services industry. Through the years, he and I maintained contact from time to time. Recently, he asked me to preside over the renewal of his vows with his wife after 25 years. I was delighted to be a part of such a wonderful occasion. Several months later they called, were obviously upset and asked Tracy and me to come over to their house. After cordialities we listened through their tears of frustration as they communicated that their only child had chosen a lifestyle contrary to scripture. They were devastated and honestly did not know how to react. Their hearts were torn between the love of a child and the defiance the child displayed towards God.
While scripture is very clear about what the position should be, Tracy and I listened, keeping our thoughts to ourselves because of the present state of the couple. After several hours, you could see that they were beginning to be drained by the emotions. Soon, Tracy was able to help them see the need for strong messages of love, but a firm stance on their Christian principles and beliefs – otherwise they would be condoning the lifestyle and the wickedness involved. As we continued to talk with them, they slowly began to reach a point where we could resume a more logical approach to the issue at hand. Over the next few moments we were able to help them define the parameters for the new relationship. At this point we tried to help them see that only time could lessen the sentiment and shock of today’s events. We encouraged them to quietly put distance between today’s revelations so they would be able to gather their strength through the Holy Spirit.
I also encouraged them to do something I would rarely share with others because of the implications or perceptions. I encouraged them to pray “imprecatory” type prayers around their child and the relationship they were involved with. (This concept is based on Psalms like 5, 6, 11, 12, 35, 37, 40, 52, 54, 56, 58, 69, 79, 83, 109, 137, 139, and 143.) Imprecatory prayers ask that God invoke judgment, calamity, or in this case a “hedge of thorns” around those defying God’s commands. It asks God to love the person enough to make their life problematic, challenging, miserable and offensive so they will see the error of their ways. Often when an individual is defiant toward God, they need to be humbled so the Spirit of God can meet them in their moment of need – and restore them.
That may sound mean and less than loving. However, I assure you it the essence of pure love. In John 15:2 Christ says that if a branch is not fruitful, then it must be pruned or cut back. That is painful. The child must experience the pain of sin. Only after they “bottom out” will they be ready look up to God for healing, growth and development. It may be rare, but do not hesitate to invoke an imprecatory prayer for someone you love – even me if I need it.
Love Dad