I had been practicing Taekwondo for about a year when it came time for me to step into the ring with someone more seasoned, someone with black around their waist. When I sized up the gentleman all I could see was an old guy with gray hair and not much energy. As I jumped from my stance, aiming my lightning fast roundhouse directly at his head, I felt pain from the side kick he planted on my chest. I repeated my attacks, over and over and each time the result was the same. He was watching my eyes, my shoulders and my feet as I wound to for the attack. It seemed as if he knew what was coming before I started my attack. Within minutes I was exhausted and in pain. He wasn’t even breathing hard. When he asked me if I had had enough, I realized my attempts were fruitless. I knew I had a lot yet to learn. That match proved to be my first sparring epiphany!
Sparring wasn’t the only place I lagged behind the learning curve. It was life itself. God gives us tidbits all the time – we just have to pay attention to them. Let me give you an example of an epiphany that occurred 30+ years after the fact. When I was in my early teens I was talking to Popeye, my granddad. I don’t remember exactly what I said to him to evoke the statement but he retorted with “Charles Wayne, you’re going to learn that sometimes you have to slow down to speed up.” Well, I didn’t figure out what he meant until much later in life. So much of life is like that. It seems as if we have to make the same mistake over and over again until we figure out that Albert Einstein was right when he said: “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” What is it about ourselves that cause us to do the same stupid things repeatedly and just not “get it.” We’ve all heard the quote: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” Even the Bible says in Jeremiah 13:23a “Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard its spots? . . .”
Is it our food, is it our culture, or is it our personality quirks that cause a recurring lack of common sense? In actuality it could be any or all of the above. However, I think the answer lies in Ecclesiastes 4:9 – 12 where it states that two or three are better than one in almost every circumstance. When we act alone we rely solely on our own ideas and bias. Most of all we tend to rationalize. There is much to be learned from other’s experiences and their ability to give good council because they are not emotionally involved in our issues. We must have a desire to acquire and assimilate their wisdom as we simply do not have all the answers. The more willing we are to seek wise council and learn, the better our chance for success.
My suggestion is that you find three people for every season of your life. Some may transcend the seasons. First find a mentor you can respect and trust who is older and wiser than you. Second find a friend who loves you enough to be honest with you under any circumstances! Lastly, find someone you are willing to invest in younger and more naive than you. Each will stretch you and bend you in all directions, but each will add depth and dimension to your life. Don’t wait. Make a list and pick up the phone.
Love Dad