I am hoping at this point in each of your lives you have experienced an “ah ha” moment concerning people’s ability to communicate what they actually want to say. Words rarely comes across exactly the way the originator wants them to because those listening are rarely in the same mindset at precisely that time. Those of you who are married have already dealt with this issue. Those of you who have yet to take that step have (hopefully) already figured this out. I know this sounds very simplistic, but during your lives, I assure you communication will be one of the main reasons for you to experience frustration, anger and misunderstanding as well as arriving at conclusions and decisions that otherwise would have never been made. Each time the results can impact you and many others a lifetime.
Elementary Christianity teaches us that God directs our actions and speaks to us through the Bible and the Holy Spirit. What we often miss are the golden opportunities when God directs and speaks to us through people and circumstances. We all struggle with this because each person is unique and come from a different paradigm of thought – parts of which we may not understand or embrace. When you add emotions and the stress of life on top of that, many of us feel overwhelmed and simply react at times rather than hearing and digesting it without bias or emotion. Not an easy task, especially when the person speaking is not someone you know very well. Yet it is often those people (whom we don’t know well) that can have a significant impact on our lives. This occurs when we hear, listen, and even respect what others say because we do not have preconceived notions or bias toward them.
So, how do we hear and communicate, day in and day out, properly? First and foremost, you must learn to hear with God’s ears and not your bias. This means eliminating judgment based on your communication style. In the same way 1Corinthians 12, verses 4 – 6, 14 indicate that believers are directed by God, each individual is intentionally directed in different ways. Also, in verses 15 – 25 we learn that we are interdependent, even though we may not initially relate to the other’s position. It’s no different with the general population. Our interaction and value styles are different, so we have natural and genetic biases when we listen, hear, assimilate, judge and communicate. Listen until they finish. Then ask questions for clarification.
Second, even if you disagree, remember God is still working on them, as He is on you! Even though Matthew 5:48 says “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect” keep the meaning of the original words in mind. The Greek word used here (telios), according to Vines, means a “state of goodness without physical maturity”. Many scriptures indicate that God sees us in our completed state, NOT our present state. By recognizing that whomever you have communication issues with is not in a completed state, should help. It should give you a heightened ability to extend grace and love to them – the same way your Father does when you open your mouth and stick your foot in it! Don’t let what is often semantics, separate you from an opportunity to positively impact someone else’s thoughts, direction and perhaps their whole life. Hear with His ears and speak with His mind, so you leave each person better, not bitter.
Love Dad