When I think of you and each of your lives the concept of usefulness comes to mind immediately. Each of you has taught me something. You have fulfilled the definition: Being of use, service, purpose while positioning me with an advantage that I would not have otherwise. You have been helpful to me and brought about good and wonderful elements to my life.
Now, I do not want you to think that I love you because you have simply been useful to me. That is not what I am saying. I guess I am trying to communicate how you have helped your mom and dad grow up as you grew up. It’s really funny how the whole process works. Your mom and I are supposed to be the knowledge repositories and direction finders for you all. THAT is a challenging task, because there is no real manual for us to follow or any past answers that work in any situation. We have simply tried to help you have the mental and spiritual resources to make good decisions.
Decision making is really the key to usefulness. It is a process that each of us struggle with in our own unique way. Some of us more than others and some with what seemingly feels like little success until we are on the other side of the decision and dealing with the consequences. That is why I thought today I would share a couple things that have helped me make a decision and then live with the consequences and adjust accordingly. There are always consequences – even when we refuse to make a decision. THAT is a decision in itself!
- Realize God wants you to make a decision under the circumstances because it will always teach you something. By not making the decision, you are hampering your growth and development and God will have to put you in similar circumstances again so you can learn the principles He is trying to teach you now.
- Try to learn something by gathering information. You need to identify NOT JUST THE PROBLEM, BUT ITS SOURCE. If you do not focus on the source, you are simply prolonging the ultimate reason for the challenge you are facing. Try to think about what is causing the challenge you are facing right now.
- Weigh your alternatives. You must identify the principles you will use during the process. The key to answering that question is simply identifying what is within your moral code and the role those values place on your options. You cannot sacrifice who you are and what you have established as guiding principles for the sake of immediate “relief.” It will always come back to haunt you. Trust me on this one – I’m a veteran!
- Brainstorm and think outside of the box. Jesus gave us guidance here. He said “I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.” You can give an answer that does not put you in a bad position but also maintains your dignity and values. You must ask for spiritual guidance. That is the key. Stop, pray and look for insight. It’s there you just need to ask.
- Identify your best alternative. It may not always be nice or what you would like to do, but there are always bad, reasonable and better options. Nothing goes without consequences. Just weigh them and know that something MUST accompany your reasoning – it is part of the process
- Do something! You cannot fear the consequences as they are going to come, even if you do nothing. Know that the consequences will teach you, grow you and develop you into the person God wants you to be. DON’T force Him to repeat the circumstances. Grasp it. Embrace it and walk away a better person.
- After it is over, weigh the outcome and what you will do the next time under similar circumstances. It will probably happen again, or something closely aligned. Know that the circumstances were there to prepare you for the next stage/level. Preparation for more and more maturity. You’re a better person for it!
Love Dad