Yesterday we talked about how we can look to others with spiritual maturity to help us understand the spiritual realm. Since we cannot possibly view and understand all aspects of this realm, especially with our limited scope, having additional input is critical for our growth and development. However, we must also consider how we approach this process so that it helps us long-term.
Let’s think about how Christ approached this process with the disciples. If you look at Christ’s work chronologically, you will see that the first year and a half was spent in time alone with His disciples. He only performed two miracles during that time. He took the time, knowing it was limited to three years, to get to know them individually. He took the time to invest in them personally before the public appearances really began in earnest. He wanted them to know Him as a person before the masses were clamoring for His attention. They needed the surety of His commitment to them and their relationship before the challenges presented themselves.
What I notice next is that the relationships with His disciples were unusually diverse. You had individuals like Judas who were selfish, some modest like John, others who questioned everything like Nathanial and of course the doubting Thomas. You also had common laborers, tradesmen, government appointees, revolutionaries as well as relatives. The group could not have been more diverse – almost seems like it was planned! I think the most important thing we can glean from this was that there was not a defined group from the church, from work or any specific social group setting. I think the point was that we have to choose who we want as our friends, peers and mentors and we should not limit them based on their occupation or affiliations. We look for their willingness to invest in the relationship and the basis of their motivations.
Once the relationships were built with trust and commitment He was able to help them take the next steps toward growth and development. As I have told you many times those steps must be well chosen and intentional or you will never achieve your dreams or acquire the desires of your heart. Building relationships, like achieving goals requires you to go through the stages of development, one at a time, in the light of day so we can stay on the proper path. Let’s consider the steps to an in-depth relationship. They are:
- To have a friend and thereby develop a relationship, you must be one. You must move toward others that you feel God has put on your heart for whatever reason. There is no one way to do this, so you must put yourself out there realizing that sometimes a connection will happen and other times it will not. Some people cannot handle transparency and this is a huge indicator of whether you have the right type of person in the first place.
- If you haven’t read the sessions from February 21st – 23rd do so, because we talked about a Hebrew word and the depth of its meaning – Halak. The concept defines this second step very clearly and identifies the fact that it is NOT just about having lunch together or studying the Bible together, it is about all aspects of a relationship that can be both shallow and deep, depending on the circumstances.
- You must be willing to pour your life into theirs – and at times that will mean sacrifices that will not be easy to make. Be observant of what you pour and how they utilize what you pour into them so you are not just the one doing the pouring. Yes, it is better to give than receive, however, there are those who will receive, receive and receive and never offer true friendship.
- Lastly, stick it out with those whom God has chosen for you. Remember one of my favorite Marine Corps phrases – “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” Friends are for a lifetime, not just for a moment.
Love Dad