All of us have friends who seem to come to us with problems hoping that we have answers and can provide them with direction, advice and peace. Often, these friends do not follow our advice. As time goes along you see that, in some cases, the behaviors become repetitive. What does God say about your responsibility to these people? This is a question we must all face at one point or another. It’s one that if you don’t get it right, you will constantly be dealing with other’s issues and not your own. You must avoid being manipulated by those who are “needy.” You may be robbing them of the ability to differentiate between the urgent and important. You must make up your mind to draw the line!

First of all, you need to identify the core issue. That is NOT always easy when someone asks for your help and/or advice the first time or two. If you cannot find someone who knows the individual well and their habits, you have to test a person with time (1 Timothy 5:22) and see how they respond. While you must love and care for others, you must also be wise (Matthew 10:16.) Initially, if they are hungry, you feed them. However, if they start showing up regularly with an appetite, then you must develop the same understanding that Christ had in John 6:26.

Earlier in that same chapter (6:15) we see that the people wanted to make Jesus king because he fed them. They wanted someone to enable their lack of motivation. Sadly, things haven’t changed much. Human nature and legislation have developed an entitlement mentality for some – not all, but some. There are many who will not work if they do not have to. This is in direct contradiction to Paul’s comments in 2 Thessalonians 3:10. I honestly believe God wants us to care for those in need. I do not believe He want us to enable people’s negative behavior or encourage laziness. So therefore, YOU must begin to look (objectively) at the fruit the person displays (Matthew 7:16).

Christians are called to a higher set of standards. However, you must not let others use those beliefs to intimidate you into putting yourself in a compromising position just to meet their wants or “urgencies.” God may very well be testing them and pushing them toward spiritual growth and development – AND, you do NOT want to interrupt God’s work in their lives. I am not saying you should not show compassion to those in need, but I am saying make sure it is not a want, but a real need. This will require prayer and a non-emotional approach to the relationship – and that is not always easy, especially when the answer is NO.

While we serve and are admonished to emulate a caring, loving God, we must also remember that we serve a just and righteous God. He gives a good mind to start with then renews it (Romans 12:2) with a fresh perspective so we can make better decisions than others (1 Corinthians 2:14.) You cannot afford to allow other people’s wants derail your growth and development. YES, part of your growth and development is sacrificial love, but the Spirit will give you the gift of discernment if you ask – and you need to ask when these issues become repetitive.

Take a moment to read Proverbs 3:11 – 12 and realize that you are God’s hands and feet. At times you will need to discipline those who lack self-discipline by saying NO! That’s not a bad thing, that is being His instrument of peace and prosperity. Prosperity cannot come without the foundational principle of becoming complete in Christ and that requires doing the right thing at the right time. And sometimes it is not what others want to hear. If you love them – tell them the truth, with love.

Love Dad