When I think about how brutal the blustery weather of early March can be this time of year, it reminds me of my own male testosterone issues. I, like most men, have moments of anger and impulsiveness. I never had a desire to be a mild mannered, quiet guy. My genetic makeup drove me to be an objective person with passion, ambition, and more than my share of ego. Yes, an aggressive, abrasive, stick your foot in your mouth, extrovert. My brashness regularly alienated people who could have been good friends like John the bugler in my Boy Scout troop. It wasn’t until I had thoroughly described his ineptitude as a bugler that I realized he was standing next to me. While I may have felt like crap, I couldn’t change what I had done to a nice guy and not so a bad bugler.

While all of us have times of venting and anger, not all people are as aggressive as others. Some people CAN think the thoughts and not say the words. Unfortunately you, my children, haven’t been as lucky as some of those with a more restrained dad. I tried but never fully arrived. I know each of you felt the brunt of my anger and impatience more than once. As I look back over the years, despite my normally encouraging nature, there were times of venting, like the ones described in James 3:8–10 No man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. For those times kids, I apologize.

I hope you will manage your parenthood somewhat differently from your dad of old. Pray for a desire to measure and communicate God’s love, not your momentary emotional outbursts. For those of you who are extroverted this will be hard — it’s natural for you to speak out. For those of you who are introverted, you may struggle with articulation and communicating your true feelings. I encourage all of you to write. Write every day. As you write, God will teach you to measure your words. You will discover different ways to articulate what you feel. Try to write as quickly as you think — don’t stop, you can edit later. Put your heart on paper. The editing is tedious but will help you. You will find as time goes by that you will soon learn to measure your words of speech in the same way you measure your written words. It’s a process God uses to manage what is verbalized from our heart. On another positive note, science has proved that writing daily increases your intelligence and our Father knows we could all use more of that.

One last thing and I will let you go. Remember that anger, as an emotion, can be blustery and abrasive. Anger drives the tongue’s output and hurts others. It is the most ancient of actions that can become horrible in its consequences. Some people never learn to manage anger well or with great proficiency. At the source of anger is the belief that we have not been able to control others, our lives, or a particular set of circumstances. The reality is that we’ve never been in control. God is sovereign and in control. He simply wants us to His more balanced, knowledgeable approach: knowing that everything is going to be okay — no matter what! That is where faith comes in. To peacefully accept His sovereignty you will know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).  As you continue to write or journal, you will begin to measure and balance. Then your faith can manage your emotions — not your anger.

Love, Dad