Recently, I had an old friend from Marine Corps days get in touch with me. I was elated at the opportunity of spending time with him after 30+ years because I had tried to locate him on multiple occasions without any luck. After Troy and Maya returned to Virginia, I began to think about how the years have slipped away with only a very few friendships still active. It’s easy to let the busyness of everyday life, deadlines, and issues that always present a sense of urgency deprive us of the irreplaceable value of friendship. As your dad, I urge you to hold fast to meaningful friendships, especially those with Christ as a foundation providing the love that allows transparency.

If you were describing a friend you could say that they are the ones who side with you during a struggle, work toward similar goals, understand and know you well, encourage you when you are down, and most of all, knows when you are struggling. Every one of us needs a friend like that which they can count on. In 1 Chronicles 27:33 we see that Hushai the Arkite was David’s friend. He did not hold an office or some special position, but he was David’s friend. When the chips were down and David was being run out of Jerusalem by his son Absalom, Hushai asked to leave the city with him. Rather than taking his friend with him David asked Hushai to stay, become a friend of Absalom, and confuse the advice given to him by his advisors (2 Samuel 15:32). I’m sure David would have loved the companionship, but he wanted his friend safe and needed his help if he were to return to power. David knew his friend would remain true through the good as well as the bad.

Jesus had a special friend too — and it was NOT one of His disciples. We know that Jesus loved John (the apostle) but He also loved others. Look, for example, at John 11:3. You see that Jesus loved Lazarus. He did not call Lazarus to be an Apostle. As a matter of fact, he never asked him to do anything from a ministry perspective noted in Scripture. Yet, from documents like Gamaliel’s report to the Sanhedrin (The Archko Volume) we know that Jesus spent long hours of discussion and days in the mountains just “hanging out” with Lazarus when the disciples were home with their families and friends. That’s what you do with friends: you hang out with them and become part of their lives. You invest in them and they invest in you.

Regardless of how much you love us, you will listen to only so much from your mom and me. We know and understand that. You must know that the Holy Spirit will direct the paths of people into your life to add meaning and dimension — to be your friends. They will provide you with a unique support system, outside of your family. However, it takes an investment on your part. To have friends, it is often necessary to be a friend first. Once you find one, you will discover that they will provide you with the additional support you need to deal with real life issues. You see, friends are a rare and precious commodity — an indication of your true wealth. If David and Jesus needed them, I would suspect your life will not be full until you discover what they did.

Love, Dad