One year and two weeks after Tracy and I were married, we were blessed with our first daughter. As she grew, she acquired the features and coloring of her mother. I thought that was good. However, she was given the disposition and personality of her dad. Having lived with those attributes, I was somewhat disconcerted! However, I knew that in the end she would be ok. Over the years many of the two differing aspects began to merge and now I see a loving and compassionate mom (like Tracy) and motivation (like dad) that will push her to achieve whatever God puts in her heart to accomplish.

I have both suffered through and taken great pride in her desire to help the underdog. She has always befriended people who wanted or needed someone who cared – often when no one else would. It was almost as if she wanted to “fix” them, but didn’t possess all the life experience to make that happen without being pulling into some of the challenges they faced. Some lessons have been harder to learn than others, but fortunately she has enough of her mom in her to want to do the right thing before God and man. Living with this champion of the little guy has taught me much. She continues to teach me now as I still struggle to balance two spiritual principles of loving others and parenting.

As parents we tried to communicate to each of you the tremendous value of relationships. By being there when you needed us, regardless of the circumstances we hoped you would see the value of commitment. Hopefully our actions helped reinforce scriptural principles like Ecclesiastes 4:10 (NIV) If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” The other thing I hope we were able to communicate to you was that very often you must be a friend first, before friendship is returned. Christ illustrated this in Matthew 11:28 NLT when He said: “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” He did not ask others to do Him a favor first.

Then there is the other side. We know that many condemned Christ for the company he kept calling him “a friend of tax collectors and other sinners” (Matthew 11:19, Luke 7:34) because he was investing in questionable lives similar to what we watched her do with her friends. But Matthew 7:6 (NLT) is very plain when it says “Don’t waste what is holy on people who are unholy. Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you.” Unfortunately some of the choices were not so good. Fortunately others were excellent. Maybe that is why God keeps us from making choices of our children’s friends. Our job is to constantly repeat and reinforce the principle that is stated in Proverbs 12:26a (NIV) “A righteous man is cautious in friendship,” very similar to Benjamin Franklin’s “Friends should be few and well chosen.” Isn’t that just like God to instill a need in our lives and then let us learn to live with our choices? But he gives us the wisdom and direction through the parents He choose for us before the foundations of the earth were laid.

Like most things in life, experience is the best teacher and grace is there to make each day new. My daughter understands that and continues to love those around her. Being a people person is not always easy and often painful. However, I don’t think either she or I would have it any other way!

Love Dad