Today at church we had a great sermon on anger. The passage came from The Sermon on the Mount. It really made me think, because I have struggled with anger throughout my life. Joe pointed out that there are times when it is ok to be angry, but it is the accompanying emotions that when not handled properly drive us to sin. The reality is that all of us get angry, damaging others, so I thought it might be good to discuss this concept from Matthew 5:21 – 22.

As a true extrovert, people rarely wondered if I was angry – it was obvious. Extroverts get their energy from others. When they are energized negatively they respond with loud verbal and often pointed anger. Sadly that impacts anyone in its range almost always creating spillover to others. Most extroverts justify it by saying they have vented, got it off their chest and because it forces and issue to be dealt with, they are then able to move on with the issue (in their minds) put to rest. Well that is ok for us, but what about those who were damaged during the process? The reality is that while the emotion behind the anger may have subsided within you, the words will often be remembered much longer than apologies. This is the kind of anger referred to in Proverbs 15:18

On the other hand, over half the world is more introverted. They tend to be more passive aggressive and defensive rather than offensive, often suggesting that the other person is clueless while they have all the answers. They prefer the “critical jabs” rather than the obvious “big swing.” Often their jabs are positioned so that only the victim gets it, but the pain is just as real. So while there may not be as much spillover, the emotional venom is still just as hurtful. Often the introvert will feel justified because they were not loud and obnoxious, but the reality is their anger is no better or worse than the extroverts. This is the kind of anger referred to in Proverbs 15:1

So what do we do with anger since every living soul will deal with it many times throughout their lives? While I honestly do not believe there is a pat answer, you have to find the path that works best for you. Otherwise it will generate emotions that will lead you to sin and damage that is simply irreparable. So, since we are going to get angry, let’s consider how to deal with it.

• Start off with trying to provide a gentle answer (Prov. 15:1)
• If that doesn’t work, remember that all people are flawed and prone to anger (PS. 78:38, 145:8)
• So if you feel anger coming on, try to slow the process down with love for the person (Ps. 103:8)
• If you get angry remember that you are only allowed to hold on to it for a moment (Ps. 30:5).
• If your anger gets away from you do something nice for the person you vented on. (Prov. 21:14)
• Because if you don’t it will lead you into deeper evil (Ps. 37:8)

Now, while this may not eliminate anger from you completely, try to find the bullet points that resonate within you. You will struggle with at least half of them, so know that this will not always be easy. My suggestion is that you dwell on the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) to help you build up resilience and capacity to cope with other’s emotional anger and all that goes with it.

 

Love Dad