As you know, 4 – 6 days a week I plug in my I-pod and take off for my three miles. I love it because I am away from the phone, breathe fresh air, watch my neighborhood evolve, and listen to my Bible. I always am looking for something more that God might give me that might deepen my faith and better understand His mind and ways. Some days are exhilarating, some are informative, some are lightning bolts of revelation, others inspire deep personal reflection and then there are the times that the cares of life all but drown out His word as I walk. I think about how immature that is at this point in my life. A sad state of my condition.

Today was one of those days of self-reflection as I listened to the narratives in 2 Kings about the choices they made after God had been so obvious in the quality of life between those who “did what was right in the eyes of the Lord” and those who “did what was evil in the eyes of the Lord.” During this same season Tracy and I have been watching a lot of 13^th – 15^th century dramas and documentaries. Each story and movie/series we watch presents the excesses of rulers – and their literal freedom with the lives of others. It was easy to watch and condemn them for their excesses. It also caused me to reflect on own life as a whole.

I cannot deny that rebellion has had a hold on my life at times. The many times I heard my dad pray: “Lord, in some small way may I serve you and the Kingdom” which made me retort “Lord I don’t want to be little or small – I want to live BIG.” More revelations, more success, bigger and better and collecting the accolades and awards. Oh, was the ego rampant and my conceit level peaking. Too much of my life was managed by that drive to be “bigger than life, a Renaissance man, and known for my achievements.” I wanted my family to approve. I wanted others to notice me. I make my confession as an overachiever and now realize that there should have been more focus on loving my family and others at a deeper level. Through the years I have learned that this mentality is addictive.

In many ways, today, I am still a nobody in the world’s eyes or compared to a King. My selfishness feed my humanity and drove me to where I am today. I look back and see how my passions and desires fed on that human nature. Fortunately, the Lord blessed me by providing a niche that serves others and helps them with issues others cannot. Now, at 67, I realize how little I know, how blessed I am and how completely unworthy I am for my station in life. I wonder almost every day why people listen to me and provide for my lifestyle based on my direction and advice. I am so grateful but still in wonder of why God has done this for me despite my excessive lifestyle. Perhaps you, my children can find some value in these words and maintain the humility brought about by a true fear of God and our position before Him.

All I can say is: “I am where I am because of God’s grace.” And so it is for those who love Him and call Him Lord. Far too much compared to the effort I have invested in the Kingdom of God. Know this mindset and always know your place as a Child of God: You own a position of power as His son or daughter, but at the same time, only a single position in a very vast Kingdom.

 

Love Dad